“Why Good Girls Remain Single” By Nelson Asuen

By - - [ Uncategorized ]

Bad Girls getting Married every Saturday. Why?

I woke up one morning disturbed at heart as I thought deeply on the subject “Why Good Girls Remain Single.” These are ladies that have spent their lives shunning the wayward lifestyle. They are the morally justified set of girls who have dedicated their lives to God and have decided to walk in His ways. These sets of girls are popularly called the “churchy” girls.

All through the week I kept reading posts on different social media platforms where writers kept encouraging ladies to wait for their men. And they kept teaching them what to do while they waited. “Mr Right is on his way.” They said. The question that kept running through my mind and I believe the same was the case in the minds of some of these ladies was “When is he going to come?” There are ladies that heard the “Mr Right is on the way” story when they were 27 years old, now they are 33 and he hasn’t arrived yet. So when is he going to finally arrive? When they’ve clocked 40? After so much thought on the matter, I decided to talk to a few people to get their opinions on what they thought were the reasons why ‘good’ girls remained single while ‘bad’ girls got married Saturday after Saturday. I gathered a few things which I would be sharing with you in the succeeding pages

An Entitlement Mentality

Some good girls think life or the world owes them something for being good. Just because they “kept” themselves, they sometimes think it is an automatic ticket to finding a good man.

In his book, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People, Mute Efe gave a perfect illustration which he called “The Classic Good-Girl-Bad-Girl.”

“Miss X is a bad girl. Bad as in the whole nine yards. While in school she was the typical “runs girl”. A new boyfriend every semester, clubbing every weekend, and using what she has to get her grades. In the process she had a few abortions. Miss Y on the other hand was a good girl. You can predict her movement – class, fellowship, market, and hostel. She had no time for boys. That was not what she came to school to do. She was a virgin. A year after graduation Miss X, the bad girl, got married. It’s been 10 years now. Miss Y, the good girl, is in her mid-thirties, not married and still a virgin. What happened? The most common response you get to the good-girl bad-girl case I just shared is, “life is not fair.”

Now let’s go to the theatre and place both ladies under the knife. While Miss X was the bad girl, in the process she got to know men and what men want. She understood what respect means to a man. She understood that men are attracted to beautiful things and how men love sex. From the number of guys that dumped her and married other ladies she got to understand what a man is looking for when he is looking for a wife. She got books on relationship to ‘up her game’ so she could get into the minds of guys. So immediately after graduating she decided to get serious and the next guy she dated proposed to her. Miss Y never knew all that. She believed prayer was the key. She fasted and went for vigils. She made positive confessions daily. She was speaking her husband into being. And there is nothing wrong with all these. But she dressed like she was in the 70’s. she never read a single book on relationship. And knew nothing about what men want.

Question: In the light of the above do you think life was unfair to the good girl in her still being single ten years after school even though she is a virgin? I don’t think so. Husband is not a reward for virginity.”

Mute Efe was not in any way encouraging a wayward life. Neither was he against virginity. His point is simple. “That you are a good girl or a good guy does not absolve you from the consequences of not knowing how relationships work.”

For every area of life, there are principles that govern it. Life will not excuse you for violating any of them because you are a good girl or a good guy. The sun shines on both the righteous and the unrighteous. The rain also falls on both the good and the bad. The same principle applies to everyone – good or bad. It is good to be good but being good is not the only condition to get a man.

An excerpt from NELSON ASUEN book Why Good Girls Remain Single. To be continued


Add a comment

WP Radio
WP Radio
WP Radio
WP Radio